30 Perfect Days Log 6 – Clearing Negativity

Week 6, Friday, November 14—Abraham Lincoln once said, “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” The glass is half empty or half full. It sometimes surprises me how negative I can be with the tools I’ve given myself—yoga, journaling walking. Even with tools, we sometimes only see the half full glass or the thorns on the rose vines. It’s crazy how negativity can one’s control life. In her book The Motion of the Ocean, Janna Cawrse Esarey decided her marriage had gone sour just because they ran out of things to talk about eighteen months into their journey across the Pacific Ocean, and her days were full of dread and worry, having made an incorrect assumption. When I was sleepless and suffering from anxiety attacks 25 years ago, I was in spiritual pain, so I know that I can easily go back to darkness and gloom. But once last year I told Paul I would be fine with dying because I’ve lived my life hard and well, and I want for nothing, but on Day 6, I was mourning the loss of the father I knew, the loss of a light in the world, as he moved into the gloom of forgetfulness, and it wasn’t until I worked on my novel a bit that I was able to clear out the negativity. What tools help us get over our losses? We need to find them to live more abundantly.

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