Throughout this project, I worked on bringing about perfect moments—and now I ask, must we WORK to bring these changes about or just allow ourselves to shift ever so slightly in our bodies until we arrive at a new shore without having known we were on rough seas? During Betsy’s Artist’s Way tele-class while I was working on this book, we talked about finding the river. I love that metaphor of finding the river. We Earth travelers are all on a journey on the river of life, meandering, flowing over the rocks if we’re lucky, working through the obstructive branches, widening and narrowing in our ability to respond to the world and to be our best selves. We find our true selves as we go along, bit by bit, even as we change, the changes wrought in us becoming part of all the things going down that river with us. The bad stuff, if we go about it right, gets left behind. I’d been thinking about my own journey and my marriage, and then I arrived at home to find a pleasurably quiet empty house. I realized that I no longer felt judged and belittled—those were my feelings, and it was time to let them go. As I poured myself a glass of wine and made dinner and ate by myself, I knew that I had forgiven myself. The way I held up my own dinner on Paul’s late nights had been my way of continually trying to show him my worthiness. It wasn’t he who thought I was unworthy, it was me. And then I read this quote by Lauren King: “There are two kinds of perfect: The one you can never achieve, and the other, by just being yourself.” Funny, I had also come to the conclusion that I didn’t need to work on perfect moments but just had to experience them in my own authentic way. My life is full of perfect moments as long as I allow myself to be who I am. What is that perfection from within? I think it’s in the sweet moments of ease, the heartfelt conversations, the realization that we are not alone, the sense of community, and being present to God and the universe. How do we, as people living in this world, find perfection?
Tag Archives | presence
Log Post 28, Week 28: Finding Abundance
Wayne Dyer is quoted as saying “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.” At the heart of an excellent life is recognizing its abundance. Taking an art class feels lavish and expansive. It makes me feel like I’m living abundantly. When I was working on the Artist’s Way chapter on abundance, I bought flowers for my desk at work. I paid attention to how the outside light came into the Terminal Tower. I felt like writing Morning Pages was a stolen moment before the family woke up. I gave myself permission to spend time on myself. Here I am at the end of 30 days and trying to figure out how I can get my Mom to journal, but my mission may not be her mission. Remember humility? Remember agape? I pull back from that idea, and try to listen to what she needs, but I ask you, as I’ve asked workshop participants, “If you could live four other lives, what would they be like? What’s the through line, the common thread that causes them to be your choices? How can you live your life more abundantly? Maybe you’ve already arrived at the life you always dreamed of.
Log Post 23, Week 23 – Following the Heart
Being a writer, I’m too much in my head. I try to write from the heart, but using words is what the brain does, not what my heart does. I like what Steve Jobs had to say about following the heart: “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” Steve Job’s quote goes straight to the heart of authenticity, but it also sheds some light on what faith is all about. If you follow your heart and are faithful to your own voice, you’re living on faith and connected with the universe, the Oneness, God. The ancient Indian sage Patanjali advised that if we can stand in our truth and speak the truth, we’re acknowledging our beliefs at that particular moment in time. I find that by slowing down and doing the necessary soul searching, answers come to us and are true. But, oh, the possibilities. They are endless. Especially if you follow your heart.
Log Post 22, Week 22 – Letting Go
Check out the new cover! I decided, after 22 weeks, to redesign the book, inside and out, and now it’s a special gift or coffee table book. And on Day 22 in the book, I focused on Faith. Khalil Gibran said “Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.” If only we had the faith that everything would turn out all right. Isn’t it what a woman wants her lover to tell her, a child wants to hear from her mother, a parishioner wants to hear from her priest? During Lent, I try harder than usual to find peace, love, meaning, oneness, in an attempt to conquer worry. On my desk in the office, I keep a small magnet decorated with green foliage, trees, and flowers as the background on which I pasted the words “You don’t have to spend another moment wondering and worrying.” It seems to me that if we trust the universe and live in the moment, there can be no worrying. Worry is about something in the past or something in the future, both of which are out of control. We just need to open up our hearts to the present moment with complete abandonment, in faith, for worry to be conquered and no longer part of our lives.
Log Post 21, Week 21—Riding Out the Storm
On Day 21 of my 30 Perfect Day project, I quoted Mahatma Gandhi, who said “A living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm.” Hurricane Sandy came storming into Ohio. We couldn’t spend a bitterly cold night at home without heat, so we headed to daughter Melissa’s house with pizzas from our thawing freezer. I spent some time on that dreary evening working on some Artist’s Way exercises for class the next day. Cameron wrote “By seeking the creator within and embracing our own gift of creativity, we learn to be spiritual in this world, to trust that God is good and so are we and is all of creation.” I am much more spiritually connected than I was in my self-imposed prison of fifteen years ago. I’m not unique in turning within and seeking God as death comes closer, and it’s also common for people to seek out their creative gifts when life is established and the big missions in life, raising a family or building a career, are manifested. The storm outside doesn’t touch me. We ride out the storm together. We’ve been doing it for a long time. Remembering storms in your life helps you understand who you are. How have you ridden out the storms in your life? For more about finding abundance in ordinary life, go to https://www.claudiajtaller.com/30-perfect-days-finding-abundance-in-everyday-life/.